Ali You are busy trying to win her by expressing what you feel for her but what she tells you is that she wants to focus on herself.
This confuses you because you don’t even know what she is implying by telling you something like that.
You ask yourself so many questions. What does even focusing on herself have to do with what you feel about her?
Is she trying to push me away?
Does this mean she is not interested in me?
In this article, I will share what you should know when a girl says she wants to focus on herself.
You need to understand this phrase for you to know what she thinks and feels about you.
Sometimes you may approach a girl trying to make her realize that you want something more with her but instead of giving you the right answer, she uses a phrase that confuses you.
You expected her to say yes or no, but she said something entirely different and this freaks you out.
What does it mean when a girl says she wants to focus on herself?
When a girl says she wants to focus on herself it means she doesn’t want to indulge herself in anything that is going to take her mind away from what she is working on currently. It can be her career, mental health, physical health, family issues, or past relationship traumas.
If you have approached her with a proposal that you would like to be with her but she responds that she wants to focus on herself, this shows that she is not ready to be in a relationship with you.
She is now busy working on something else in her life and that is why she is not open to a relationship right now.
Letting you in her life will only make it harder for her to pay attention to what she is working on.
It will distract her from her main goals because she will have to give you so much attention if the relationship is to work.
Is this the only reason why a girl would say that she wants to focus on herself?
There is more you need to know, and as we keep digging deeper into this article, you will realize that.
This is why she says she wants to focus on herself;
1. She is not interested in you.
Women have lots of responses when you try to express what you feel for them.
The truth you should know about women is that if they are in love with you, they won’t make it harder for you.
In some cases, she might play hard to get but she will let you be closer to her.
If a girl is interested in you, the moment you express what you feel for her, she will open up to you about how she feels and thinks of you.
She will either pull you closer or push you away. If she is not sure about how she feels about you she will keep you hanging.
You won’t have an idea about what she wants with you.
If you expressed your feelings to her and she told you that she wants to focus on herself, just know that she is not interested in you.
A girl who is interested in you will always be afraid to lose you to someone else.
Even if she won’t take you in suddenly, she will hold you close. She won’t give you a reason to walk away.
If a girl is interested in you, nothing else will matter to her. No matter what she is dealing with in her life, she will always make things clear to you.
When it’s hard for her to give you what you want for the moment, she will assure you that you will have what you want after she is done with what she is dealing with.
If after you told her that you want to be with her and the response she gave you was that she wants to focus on herself, she is not on your radar.
The truth about ladies is that if they love someone nothing else matters. It is harder for women to control themselves when it comes to something or someone they want in their lives.
So, if you open up to a woman about your feelings and what she says is the opposite of what you expect from her, she is not into you.
2. She is not ready to commit to a relationship.
This is another reason why she told you that she wants to focus on herself; she is not ready to commit to a relationship.
She has something bigger she is working on in her life and that is why she can’t commit to you.
It can be that she is working on her career so that she can shape her life the way she desires.
She has been in relationships before and she knows the energy she will have to put into the relationship to keep it going.
It can be that you asked her to be your girlfriend, commit to you, and focus on nothing else but growing the relationship.
Deep down she knows that she won’t have the time and energy to build the relationship you are hoping for.
She thinks she will just waste your time because currently, she is drowning in the life she is working on, the things she is trying to fix, and the messes she is cleaning up.
We all know that a relationship requires so much for it to stand still and turn out to be something incredible.
It takes so much sacrifice, time, and energy to build a long-lasting relationship.
She doesn’t think she can build this kind of a relationship with you for now and that is why she says wants to focus on herself.
What you should note is that she hasn’t said no or yes to what you have proposed to her.
If it were for not what she is dealing with right now in her life, she would have given you a chance.
But what she is working on is bigger, it requires her full attention, time, and energy to turn into something she is hoping for.
3. She wants time to work on herself.
It can be that she thinks she is broken and she will only be a burden to you.
She may be dealing with some insecurities, her life is messy, she doesn’t know how to take care of herself and she doesn’t know what she wants in life.
You know what you want from her and that is why you made the effort to tell her how you feel about her.
She doesn’t have the slightest idea what she wants to do with her life.
The only thing she knows is that she needs to shape herself first before she lets someone else be responsible for her.
Indulging herself in a relationship will only make things worse for her. She will only make things harder for you.
She feels she will always be dependent on you and this will eventually weigh down on you and eventually, you will have no choice but to let her down.
So, she told you that she wants to focus on herself because she knows she is broken and no one will fix her but herself.
Being with you will only put her in a difficult situation when it comes to focusing on herself.
She won’t push herself to work on her issues because you will always offer to help her out and that is what she doesn’t want.
You will let go of everything you are working on just to focus on making her a better woman and this might mess you up.
She doesn’t want to be that person and that is why she made it clear to you that she wants to focus on nothing else but herself.
4. She is on a journey of self-improvement.
She is on a journey of self-improvement — she wants to make herself a better woman.
As hard as it is right now for her to be on the right path, she is struggling to maintain her discipline and work on what she is supposed to be doing, she thinks a relationship will only make things worse.
If she is a mature woman who is trying to shape her life and knows herself better, just know that she is on a journey.
Talk to her and you will understand that she sees the world differently compared to the other girls you came across.
She doesn’t only think about now, but she is looking at the woman she wants to be some a few years from now.
Deep down she knows being a better woman is what will make you see her true value.
If she accepts to be with you when she doesn’t feel she is proud enough of herself, she thinks you will only manipulate her.
She will be open to your suggestions because deep down she knows her status doesn’t allow her to be anywhere close to you.
I have come across women who didn’t want to be in a relationship with me simply because they thought I was better than them.
They told me that they would only drag me behind because they had nothing incredible to offer.
It may be the same case with her, she says that she wants to focus on herself because she knows you are better than her.
5. She is just scared of letting you dominate her life.
The fact that she hasn’t told you no or yes, shows that she is a little bit scared of letting you in.
She is afraid of how things between the two of you will turn up to be.
Some women will not tell you that they are afraid to be with you or that they think you will end up hurting them.
They will be super nice to you, they will be open to meeting you up and even having fun with you.
But when it comes to issues to do with commitment, they will hardly open up to you.
She may be just afraid of letting you in because she is unsure of how things between the two of you will end up.
Maybe she thinks you won’t love who she is when you finally get to know her better.
Or maybe you will end up losing interest in her for someone else cuter than her.
She knows that saying yes to you will only leave her vulnerable and that is what she is trying to avoid right now.
Let us say it’s a self-protective mechanism she is putting on.
She is just afraid to open up to you for now, but she wants to keep you around.
And that is why she gave you a phrase related to her and not how she feels about you.
6. She is stalling.
She may be stalling and that is why she says she wants to focus on herself.
She doesn’t know if she should say yes to you or not.
You have put her in a spot that she can’t untangle herself from. The thing is that she fancies you but she is not sure whether she should be with you or not.
It can be that there is someone else also hitting on her, she is confused and she wants time to determine who is the best guy for her.
Read also; 6 Reasons Why She Tells You When Other Guys Hit On Her
Since she still wants you around, to get your attention, she knew that saying no to you would only push you further.
Read also; Why She Wants To Be Friends After Rejecting You
But if she tells you that she wants to focus on herself, you won’t have a choice but to wait for her if you truly want her.
She wants to use that time to figure out who she should be with and when she has everything mapped up she will tell you what you need to hear.
When a girl thinks that she is unsure of what she wants, the best she will do is keep you around guessing.
She will never give you a definite answer no matter how hard you try to make her open up to you.
7. It’s just a way to push you away.
I told you earlier that she is not interested in you and that is why she says she wants to focus on herself.
If you have been fighting harder to win her heart but all she does is find excuses not to give you what you want, just know that she is pushing you away.
She knows that when you realize she doesn’t want a relationship with you, this will force you to minimize the effort you put in.
You will stop wasting your time and energy on her and focus on another girl who seems interested in you.
So, if she says that she wants to focus on herself and she doesn’t even bother to reach out to you, ask to hang out with you, or give you any romantic gesture that she wants you close, she is pushing you away.
Read also; She Never Calls I Always Call Her: Here’s Why
She knows that it will come to your senses that she is not on your radar and you will stop trying.
Lastly…
When you approach a girl, express your feelings for her and the answer she gives you is that she wants to focus on herself just know that she is not into you.
If she was interested in you none of that would have mattered to her.
She would have taken you in and figured out with you how you are going to help her shape her life.
Women are selfish, she would want to have you for herself no matter what she is working on.
She would have used you as a reason to motivate her and keep her going every single day.
Another thing could be that she is not ready for a relationship right now because of what happened to her.
It can be that the person she had didn’t turn out to be the guy she thought he was. This scared her, it broke her and messed her up.
She is now trying to recollect herself together to be strong again to face another relationship.
If the vibe between the two of you isn’t connecting just know that she doesn’t want to be with you.
The part of her telling you that she wants to focus on herself is just to throw you off her radar.
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